Card Carrying Member

Somehow AARP knew it was my birthday this week, because they sent me my own membership card. Too bad they are 24 years early. I don't care, it has my name on it and I am going to use it for all sorts of discounts. Denny's, here I come.
Seriously though, I am starting to think my identity has been stolen. When I turned 18, I was sent very threatening paperwork saying I needed to sign up for the Selective Service or I'd go to jail. I had never heard of them before and had to ask my dad what this secret group was.

So apparently the government thinks I am a man, and AARP thinks I am 50 years old.

For a Limited Time Only....

For a limited time only, you can click here for my sister's birthday tribute to moi. Her blog is normally private so click now or forever hold your peace Ü

Blogiversary

It's been exactly one year since Miken convinced us to start a blog. I was skeptical. We had gone without the internet or a computer for 4.5 years, so I didn't think we would use this blog very much. But we have, and I'm glad. I've been reading some previous posts and there are so many things I had forgotten. It's a good thing they're written here, because this year I only managed three entries in my "real" journal (the one I got in third grade that has the lace and teddy bears on the front).

I noticed some interesting things as I read our first blog post from last year:

September Summation
It's only September, yet starting to cool,
Time for Nathan to go back to school.
Aubrey's at work, three days a week.
Our son learned to crawl, ''Way to go, Deac!''
We were set to move on Saturday the eighth,
We found that moving requires great faith.
We sold our home in less than three days,
But said, "Cross our fingers until the bank pays."
They finally did on September twenty,
Finally--our fingers were sure bruised plenty.
We were just settling in---a bit over a week,
When the Bishop dropped by and asked us to speak!
Nathan on preparedness, both in physical and spirit,
He had a great story, you should call him to hear it!
'Blessings of Conference' was Aubrey's topic,
Crowds make me wish that I was myopic.
Our month flew by, I'm sure yours did too!
Drop us a line, "What did you do?"
-----------------------------------------------------
I noticed how some things have changed a lot in a year (Deacon's physical feats of strength Ü), and some things are still the same (Nathan starting back at school). And some things have *kinda* changed, but are really still the same:

Deacon, September 2007

Deacon, September 2008

F. A. I. R.

Since Nathan and I have never been to a state fair before, we decided to take Deacon last Friday. There were lots of animals. We saw:

Cows and Pigs

Sheep

Goats
and more pigs!

Nathan requested we bring $100 cash so that he could try all of the crazy food we hear about on the news. Here is a photo journal of his lunch experience. Just pretend these pictures I found online are Nate and you can swoon on how handsome he has become:

Nathan eating fried Oreos.

Nathan eating fried Snickers

Nathan eating a scone with bavarian cream

Nathan eating one-and-a-half fried catfish

Why the odd fraction of fish? Because he got halfway done with one and realized it was still raw. He was going to throw it away, but I took it back to the vendor (who was smoking while cooking...fire hazard? Health department?) and she asked if I wanted her to throw it back in the vat and finish cooking it! I suggested that since his mouth had been all over it, she probably didn't want it in the same grease she was using to cook everyone else's food. She gave me a long puzzled stare and then caught on that I wanted a whole new one.

Nathan eating part of my smoked ham sandwich

Nathan eating french fries

These are all the foods that Nathan really ate. He "only" used one third of his budget for all that junk and was very satisfied.

I didn't take pictures of Nathan eating because I was busy watching...okay staring....at all the crazies at the fair. It occurred to me that The F.A.I.R is a perfect acronym for The Freak And Inbred Roundup.

I saw a girl wearing purple acid wash jeans (pegged at the ankle). I saw a man with his t-shirt cut from his armpit down to his waist on both sides to allow his belly to fit---it was basically a poncho. Oh yeah, I also saw a man dressed as a woman. I pretended to take pictures of N&D but was really trying to get a shot of the shemale because I'm pretty sure he works in a different office at my same building!

With all the crazies running around, I felt that this warning sign should be more prominently displayed:

The only other fair I've been to were all the county fairs in Kingman 10 years ago, but I just don't remember it having so many salespeople? They were marketing jacuzzies and mattresses; I saw more live OxyClean demonstrations than exhibits.

We ended the day by taking Deac on a ride. Nathan said it was creaking and groaning while they rode it. He was "slightly" over the recommend weight Ü. Especially after that last scone....
I think he had fun!

Pillow Talk

"I'm a big fan of money. I like it, I use it, I have a little. I keep it in a jar on top of my refrigerator. I'd like to put more in that jar."

That quote been in my head all day after the conversation I had last night with Nathan. It went something like this:

Aubrey: I had a dream last night.

Nathan: What was it about?

Aubrey: Equity.

Nathan: Equity? Like......equity?

Aubrey: Yes. Weird, right? I didn't know I could dream about something so abstract.

Nathan: Wow. You are obsessed with money.

Aubrey: Yeah....I guess it turns me on.

Nathan laughs and then starts cuddling me and tickling my arm.

He leans in very close and starts
whispering
sweet
nothings
in my ear.
*
*
*
*
*
"Amortization....Stock options....401k....FICO score..."

I'm giggling like crazy so he continues in a very breathy voice, "...30 Year Fixed Conventional Loan....Roth IRA.....{short pause}....Suze Orman."

Aubrey: What?! Suze Orman?

Nathan: I couldn't think of anymore financial terms to say, and then I thought of her.



P.S. I'm not really obsessed with money so please don't contact me with any MLM schemes or info on how I can "make $10k my first month." Because, really? If you are making $10k a month, then why are you walking around in the afternoon heat putting fliers on every car in the Wal*Mart parking lot?

Metal and Microwaves Don't Mix!!!

I went back to work today after having 10 days off (ha, ha, it sounds like a lot of time when I write it that way, but it equates to about 18 hours). Anyway, everything was pretty much the same as when I left. Except the break room. One of the microwaves was missing, and these bright yellow signs were posted above the three remaining ones:

I actually work with some very intelligent people, so it would seem unnecessary to have a sign stating something so obvious. Apparently someone else saw the humor in it too, because they raided the paper closet and added this sign a few hours later:

(No. I don't usually take my camera to work)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So what did I do with all my time off? Well I totally wasted 36 minutes of it by watching the first part of this movie with Nathan:



Don't even bother watching it. Just Google "Dumb movie with Tom Cruise sporting a uni-brow and his original teeth" and you'll come up with Ridley Scott's Legend. {I'm sorry if anyone reading this actually likes that movie. If so, Nathan and I have a bet: are you the type of person that dresses up in medieval attire, meets your friends at the park, and reenacts ancient fight scenes?}

Other than that, I really enjoyed my time off. I made some easy fun toys for Deacon. I took him walking/hiking/running almost everyday and we made several trips to the park. I pretended to be a "real" wife by having the house clean and making dinner every night for Nathan Ü. I could get used to this!